{"id":20640,"date":"2023-10-23T11:00:13","date_gmt":"2023-10-23T09:00:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/diariodiunconsulente.it\/?p=20640"},"modified":"2024-12-19T21:08:44","modified_gmt":"2024-12-19T20:08:44","slug":"how-to-handle-an-angry-client","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/diariodiunconsulente.it\/en\/2023\/10\/23\/how-to-handle-an-angry-client\/","title":{"rendered":"How to handle an angry client"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"p1\"><span style=\"font-size: 18px;\">by\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/diariodiunconsulente.it\/en\/about-us\/\"><span class=\"s1\">Alice Alessandri<\/span><\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/diariodiunconsulente.it\/en\/about-us\/\"><span class=\"s1\">Alberto Aleo<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18px;\">In the pages of our \u201cdiary\u201d, we have often stressed how important it is to maintain a good <b>relationship <\/b>with clients over time. A relationship based on <b>trust<\/b>, <b>ethics<\/b>, and mutual <b>respect<\/b>. However, despite our good will and all the efforts made to make sure they are satisfied, clients might still <b>get angry <\/b>and lose their temper. These occurrences are of course unpleasant and hard to handle, and in the most serious cases they can be so unsettling that we can end up feeling frustrated and <b>angry<\/b> which, in turn, amplifies and worsens the tension. So, what should we do? <span class=\"s3 text-highlight\">Here is some advice on how to handle an <b>angry client<\/b>.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-17063 size-full\" title=\"cliente arrabbiato\" src=\"https:\/\/diariodiunconsulente.it\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/cliente-arrabbiato.jpg\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1920px) 100vw, 1920px\" srcset=\"https:\/\/diariodiunconsulente.it\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/cliente-arrabbiato.jpg 1920w, https:\/\/diariodiunconsulente.it\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/cliente-arrabbiato-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/diariodiunconsulente.it\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/cliente-arrabbiato-1024x576.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/diariodiunconsulente.it\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/cliente-arrabbiato-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/diariodiunconsulente.it\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/cliente-arrabbiato-1536x864.jpg 1536w\" alt=\"angry client\" width=\"1920\" height=\"1080\" \/>Photo Adobe<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"p1\"><span style=\"font-size: 32px;\">Why people get angry<\/span><\/h2>\n<p class=\"p2\"><span style=\"font-size: 18px;\">We are all <a href=\"https:\/\/diariodiunconsulente.it\/en\/2023\/07\/17\/diversity-as-a-value\/\"><span class=\"s1\"><b>different<\/b><\/span><\/a><b> <\/b>from each other, and we each have our own <b>values<\/b>, our <b>expectations<\/b>, and our traumas. <b>Anger <\/b>is a feeling that is unleashed when something has violated, or at least negatively affected, what is important for us. Carrying out a detailed analysis of everyone\u2019s <b>character <\/b>and of what annoys each of us in only one post isn\u2019t feasible, but we can still outline some <b>recurring characteristics <\/b>of the reasons for our <b>anger<\/b>. Here is a list of a few of them:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul class=\"check-list\">\n<li class=\"li3\"><span class=\"s7\" style=\"font-size: 18px;\">Someone isn\u2019t paying <b>attention<\/b> to us or isn\u2019t <b>listening<\/b>, so we feel misunderstood.<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li3\"><span class=\"s7\" style=\"font-size: 18px;\">We don\u2019t feel <b>valued<\/b>, <b>respected<\/b>, or adequately <b>acknowledged<\/b>.<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li3\"><span class=\"s7\" style=\"font-size: 18px;\">Something triggered our <b>fears<\/b>,<b> insecurities<\/b>,<b> <\/b>or<b> anxieties<\/b>.<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li3\"><span class=\"s7\" style=\"font-size: 18px;\">We feel <b>excluded<\/b>, treated <b>differently <\/b>from others, or <b>not involved<\/b>.<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li3\"><span class=\"s7\" style=\"font-size: 18px;\">We think we are being made fun of, <b>cheated<\/b>, or <b>deprived <\/b>of something.<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li3\"><span class=\"s7\" style=\"font-size: 18px;\">Our <b>time<\/b> is being wasted, something is <b>slowing us down<\/b>, or we are fruitlessly waiting for something.<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li3\"><span class=\"s7\" style=\"font-size: 18px;\">Our requests, <b>needs<\/b>, or <b>requirements <\/b>have not been taken into consideration.<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li3\"><span class=\"s7\" style=\"font-size: 18px;\">We are being treated <b>unkindly<\/b> or <b>condescendingly<\/b>.<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li3\"><span class=\"s7\" style=\"font-size: 18px;\">We feel <b>forced <\/b>to do things that we don\u2019t approve of, that aren\u2019t in our character, or that are <b>unfair<\/b>.<br \/>\n<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"p2\"><span style=\"font-size: 18px;\">As our friend and colleague <a href=\"https:\/\/diariodiunconsulente.it\/en\/2020\/02\/24\/the-5-basic-principles-of-effective-communication\/\"><span class=\"s1\"><b>Massimo Franceschetti<\/b><\/span><\/a> often reminds us, this is all based on unfulfilled <b>expectations<\/b>, combined with the inability to <b>relativise, <\/b>or to put what we are going through into the right <b>perspective<\/b>.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-17067 size-full\" title=\"angry client\" src=\"https:\/\/diariodiunconsulente.it\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/emozione-rabbia.jpg\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1920px) 100vw, 1920px\" srcset=\"https:\/\/diariodiunconsulente.it\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/emozione-rabbia.jpg 1920w, https:\/\/diariodiunconsulente.it\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/emozione-rabbia-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/diariodiunconsulente.it\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/emozione-rabbia-1024x576.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/diariodiunconsulente.it\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/emozione-rabbia-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/diariodiunconsulente.it\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/emozione-rabbia-1536x864.jpg 1536w\" alt=\"angry client\" width=\"1920\" height=\"1080\" \/><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><em>Photo Alexas fotos on UnSplash<\/em><\/p>\n<h2 class=\"p2\"><span style=\"font-size: 32px;\">Empathising with an angry client<\/span><\/h2>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span style=\"font-size: 18px;\"><b>Anger <\/b>is a <b>feeling<\/b>, and it is, therefore, something we can also <a href=\"https:\/\/diariodiunconsulente.it\/en\/2020\/11\/16\/empathy-what-it-is-and-how-to-develop-it\/\"><span class=\"s1\"><b>empathise<\/b><\/span><\/a>\u00a0with. To be clear, we aren\u2019t saying you should like or approve of someone who is shouting or has an <b>aggressive attitude<\/b>. Those are ways <b>anger is displayed<\/b>, and no one should be forced to deal with that. <span class=\"s3 text-highlight\">Empathising with <b>anger <\/b>means <b>understanding <\/b>and <b>accepting<\/b><\/span><b> <\/b>that, at times, it\u2019s natural to feel like that. This can allow us to be more <b>open-minded<\/b> and help us handle those who are drowning in rage, without the risk of being infected by it.<\/span><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<blockquote>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span style=\"font-size: 21px;\"><i>Feeling <\/i><b><i>understood <\/i><\/b><i>when we are <\/i><b><i>angry<\/i><\/b><i> and perceiving that others aren\u2019t judging us but are, on the contrary, trying to help us, calms us and prevents <\/i><b><i>violent displays <\/i><\/b><i>that are often the results of <\/i><b><i>frustration <\/i><\/b><i>and external judgement.<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<hr \/>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span style=\"font-size: 18px;\">The next step is to analyse what is hidden behind an <b>angry client<\/b> by assessing their reasons with <b>patience <\/b>and sensitivity.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-17080 size-full\" title=\"empathy\" src=\"https:\/\/diariodiunconsulente.it\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/empatia.jpg\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1920px) 100vw, 1920px\" srcset=\"https:\/\/diariodiunconsulente.it\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/empatia.jpg 1920w, https:\/\/diariodiunconsulente.it\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/empatia-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/diariodiunconsulente.it\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/empatia-1024x576.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/diariodiunconsulente.it\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/empatia-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/diariodiunconsulente.it\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/empatia-1536x864.jpg 1536w\" alt=\"empathy\" width=\"1920\" height=\"1080\" \/><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Photo by\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/unsplash.com\/@izzie_renee?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText\">Izzie Renee<\/a>\u00a0on\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/unsplash.com\/s\/photos\/feeling?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText\">Unsplash<\/a><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span style=\"font-size: 18px;\">By using the list in the previous paragraph as a guideline, <span class=\"s1 text-highlight\">ask yourself what has made the other party react angrily<\/span>. Discovering the reason will allow you to put yourself in their shoes and empathise. How many times have you felt like that? What would you have needed to calm yourself? The answers to these questions are the key to handle and <b>angry client<\/b>.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2 class=\"p1\"><span style=\"font-size: 32px;\">The dos and don\u2019ts when facing anger<\/span><\/h2>\n<p class=\"p2\"><span style=\"font-size: 18px;\">Let\u2019s now come to the crucial question, \u201cWhat should I do when facing <b>anger<\/b>?\u201d.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p2\"><span style=\"font-size: 18px;\">First of all, don\u2019t try to stem the flow or rein it in by saying things like \u201c<b>calm down<\/b>\u201d, because you would achieve the opposite effect. If you can, allow the other party to <b>explain <\/b>their issue and try to ask <a href=\"https:\/\/diariodiunconsulente.it\/en\/2022\/01\/31\/the-art-of-asking-questions-how-to-talk-less-and-listen-more\/\"><span class=\"s1\"><b>questions<\/b><\/span><\/a>.<b>\u00a0<\/b><span class=\"s3\"><span class=\"text-highlight\">Speaking helps to vent feelings, so it has a <b>calming effect<\/b><\/span>.<\/span> During this <b>dialogue<\/b>, which will help you understand what has happened and pinpoint <b>what has sparked the anger<\/b>, don\u2019t get distracted. Maintain <b>eye contact<\/b> and an <b>open <\/b>and <b>welcoming posture<\/b>, but don\u2019t be too relaxed as this would convey a feeling of <b>detachment<\/b> or irritate the speaker by trespassing their <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Proxemics\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span class=\"s1\"><b>proxemic<\/b><\/span><b> zone <\/b><\/a>(their spatial safety distance) because they might react badly.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p2\"><span style=\"font-size: 18px;\">After understanding the reasons, offer your <b>help<\/b> even if you were not the cause of the problem. Don\u2019t minimise the problem, even if it seems like a \u201ctrifle\u201d that, in your opinion, should not anger the client. To them, it is obviously an important issue.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p2\"><span style=\"font-size: 18px;\"><span class=\"s3\"><span class=\"text-highlight\">Always remember to not take it personally as that would trigger a useless <b>tug of war<\/b><\/span>.<\/span> If they say something you don\u2019t agree with, instead of contradicting them, ask them how they have reached those conclusions. Make sure you take all the <b>time<\/b> you need to weather the <b>emotional tsunami<\/b>. In cases where anger has already turned into <b>verbal violence<\/b>, our suggestion is to take a <b>break<\/b> from the discussion by offering them the chance to reflect. This might be a short pause to have a coffee or a glass of water. Another option is to explain to the other party how you feel about the current situation. Open your <b>heart <\/b>to them and show them your feelings and how their violence is <b>hurting <\/b>you, in the hope they will <b>empathise <\/b>with you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-17074 size-full\" title=\"angry client\" src=\"https:\/\/diariodiunconsulente.it\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/cliente-arrabbiato-3.jpg\" alt=\"angry client\" width=\"1920\" height=\"1080\" srcset=\"https:\/\/diariodiunconsulente.it\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/cliente-arrabbiato-3.jpg 1920w, https:\/\/diariodiunconsulente.it\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/cliente-arrabbiato-3-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/diariodiunconsulente.it\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/cliente-arrabbiato-3-1024x576.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/diariodiunconsulente.it\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/cliente-arrabbiato-3-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/diariodiunconsulente.it\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/cliente-arrabbiato-3-1536x864.jpg 1536w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1920px) 100vw, 1920px\" \/><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-size: 13px;\">Photo Adobe<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p2\"><span style=\"font-size: 18px;\">Some of us have a natural aptitude for avoiding or managing <b>anger<\/b>. Others are instead like magnets for it, and they often run into angry people or find themselves in <span class=\"s1\"><b>conflicts<\/b><\/span>. If you belong to the second category, you might have issues with your own <b>anger <\/b>that reflect on your surroundings. <span class=\"s3\"><span class=\"text-highlight\">To be able to handle other people\u2019s <b>anger<\/b>, you need to get into deeper contact and <b>accept <\/b>your own anger<\/span>.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<blockquote>\n<p class=\"p3\"><i>There are specific paths you can take to learn how to do it, but a good first step is to understand the reasons that trigger this feeling by applying the advice in this article to your own lives.<\/i><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<hr \/>\n<pre>| partem claram semper aspice |<\/pre>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In the pages of our \u201cdiary\u201d, we have often stressed how important it is to maintain a good relationship with clients over time. Here is some advice on how to handle an angry client.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":17073,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[336],"tags":[251,233,306,271],"class_list":["post-20640","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-customer-care","tag-communication","tag-customer","tag-empathy","tag-listen","entry","has-media"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v15.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to handle an angry client &bull; Passodue<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"It&#039;s important it maintain a good relationship with clients over time. 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